I wanna go. http://www.ascap.com/eventsawards/events/expo/

She cups her hands together
To catch the tears, hoping to see herself
Inside her sadness, she gets the feeling of
Staring into the eyes of someone else
I hear her on the edge of the bed
And I’m thinking of a way to try to save this
There’s a reason everyone says that
There’s a reason everything changes

She pulls her hair behind her ears
To clear her vision, hoping to see regret
On my face, while it’s plain to her
That I’m a vagrant with barely a conscience left
Loving transiently, self-fulfilling thought
It happened just like I never hoped it could
Because the home I had is now the one she’s not
I’m freefalling like I feared that I would

Oh-oh-no
There’s nowhere left to go-oh-oh
There’s no time to negotiate
With gravity or the ground below


(audio soon to come)



,סלה
-יואל

Is nothing
And it's the hardest thing to find

I love the fact that my last post had 21 views, 14 eProps, and 7 comments.

But enough of that. I'm in Chillicothe, Ohio at the Recording Workshop (RecW) and loving it. I haven't started yet, so that may be why. I kid, I'm sure I'll love it. It's the best birthday present I could have asked for! Thanks mama י papa!


Now for some basketball and a little mingling. שלם out, y'all.


-יואל

I decided to make my blogs and blog titles a little clearer. They seem to work better with a theme.

So, tonight a friend of mine I just met last week, Joe Moreau, asked me a question I get a lot. Most people ask as a statement of disbelief, or as a strange conveyance of disapproval, but Joe seemed genuinely interested, so this is a response to the question, and an answer for whoever else is interested.

* * * * *

Joe, since you're studying psychology, I assume when you looked at my stretched lobes tonight and asked "Why did you do that?" it was a genuine inquiry, so I think you deserve a real answer.

Firstly, there is no disorder behind it, other than what some would classify as a universal disorder, a need to be noticed, to stand out in some way. I am as guilty and innocent of that as anyone. I don't like the pain, and I've never experimented with any other kind of body modification, so it isn't an attempt to conform to a specific subculture or escape the norm.

The reasoning is almost insulting to my masculinity, actually (if you view masculinity as the avoidance of adornment, a view which is contested throughout nature, but we all have our insecurities). I saw a few examples of jewelry designed for stretched ears and thought that since my ears were already pierced, it would be neat to wear them. As my lobes increased in size, I became adjusted to seeing them on myself and others. I really don't think anything of it anymore. It's really an interesting look into how easily we can become numb to things due to overexposure.

As I became adjusted to it, and perhaps as a harmless outlet for my desire to control my environment, I stretched my ears to a step beyond whatever the current size was. Sometimes I just wanted something new and interesting on my face. I've finally reached 1 inch, and I plan to stay at this size for a good long while and focus on other things while (very slowly) building up a collection of 1" plugs and tunnels.

I've spent over $800 on lobe jewelry since I began stretching my lobes about 5 years ago. The only things I've spent more money on are food, shelter, utilities, transportation, music equipment, close relationships, entertainment, and maybe books (probably forgetting something, but the idea is, I haven't spent that much on video games or glass menagerie or anything of that nature). It's like a hobby, honestly.

And yes, it makes me stand out, but not entirely in the way I'd want to, though I do like feeling a little stand-outish. I like the way it looks more than the impression that it gives, and, as with anything, there are pros and cons. It's definitely not for everyone, but I like it, and I think it's for me. Thanks for the question. =]


-joel


P.S. Before you ask, Hot Topic isn't my favorite store on the planet, but I do think the people who work and shop there are generally a heck of a lot nicer than a lot of people I've met in Aeropostale, Abercrombie, A. Eagle, and Hollister, though there are of course exceptions to the rule. But yeah, if I were a store in the mall, I'd probably be about as much Hot Topic as Hallmark.